HOW I NEVER MET YOUR FATHER EPISODE 6

HOW I NEVER MET YOUR FATHER EPISODE 6

Bearing in mind that it has been forever without an Amen, it is just just to state the particulars of previous episodes in a nut shell. In the 1st episode, I fell in love with a tall dark man on Facebook, only for him to turn out to be the age of Atwoli. After high school I joined a college and this lecturer stole my heart only for his sweetie to water down my feelings for Mr Omosh; that was the 2nd episode. After googling qualities of a date-able lady in the 3rd episode, I was lucky to get a date invitation by a university guy I met at the library. In the 4th episode, Jymo, the university guy took me out severally and it all ended after a night of bottles and later a sleepover at his place. In the 5th episode, after joining Saga University (S.U.), Mapos(my childhood friend and next door neighbor) and I met two men courtesy of `mafresha wa S.U.’ page on Facebook. We had supper together, and enjoyed some awesome movies at their place during the night. What went on during the night?

I hope I brought you the closest to the story line.

Yes, we spent our very first night in campus at a men’s hostel in the name of enjoying some IMAX moments. We slept in twosomes like sister and brother……haha not exactly but things did not go so far and deep; Mapos and I came out in one piece. On we walked to our place after having some made from scratch breakfast at 11.00am. Remember we had not visited the frog’s kingdom (reminds me of compositions) and thus we faced what is known as the WALK OF SHAME.

Just in case you are in the dark, Kip was my brother in the sister-brother sleeping mechanism. We agreed to hook up later in the day; he so badly wanted to take an adventure at my room, and why not, we were `brother and sister’ in any case. I had no idea what Mapos and her brother had planned but my nose kept convincing me that they were cooking some plans. On arriving in my room, my roomie was just from a supermarket run and she was downloading some unga and rice from the shopping bag while feeding her soul with ditties. I checked on her before proceeding to take a shower.

After overturning my clothes countable times, I settled to put on some top and tights which made me look sexy, that I’m surefire. Men get enticed to ladies who impress in their dressing, remember my google list? Kip showed up after I was done brushing and he proceeded to sit on the bed. Something triggered my heart to pitter a pat after seeing him; I told you the sister-brother mechanism was not exactly, right? Anyway, I joined him at the bed and my roommate looked disturbed; was she expecting me to sit on the floor or what? We started watching some funny clips and his hands could not relax at one place; he got touchy once in a while, recall I was in tights. Lord oh Lord the touch made me feel kind of good, not close to heaven, but as long as it was not going beyond that I remained RESPONSIVE.

“Excuse me,’’ my roommate said. I was waiting for a `you guys look good together’ but my wait was rudely interrupted with `you know the Bible says in Matthew 5:28, that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart’. She recited the verse marathanonly, thanks heavens I was even able to grasp. Nyinyi, the school rules state that `men should not overstay at ladies’ hostel. Roomie, `it is to choose you will choose, ufuate Bibilia na rures ama nikupereke kwa matron’. Ha ha ha ha, trust me that scared the hell out of me, especially the kuperekwa kwa matron.

Meanwhile, I was hoping that my roomie learns janitors or custodians vocabulary and deletes matron from her campus vibe.  Find out the story of the man and lady with a sister-brother sleeping mechanism, how we responded to my roomie and if `tuliperekwo kwa matron’.

LIFE WIL BREAK YOU. NOBODY CAN PROTECT YOU FROM THAT, AND LIVING ALONE WON’T EITHER, FOR SOLITUDE WILL ALSO BREAK YOU WITH ITS YEARNING, YOU HAVE TO LOVE.YOU HAVE TO FEEL. IT IS THE REASON YOU ARE HERE ON EARTH. YOU ARE HERE TO RISK YOUR HEART. YOU ARE HERE TO BE SWALLOWED UP. AND WHEN IT HAPPENS THAT YOU ARE BROKEN, OR BETRAYED, OR LEFT, OR HURT, OR DEATH BRUSHES NEAR, LET YOURSELF SIT BY AN APPLE TREE AND LISTEN TO THE APPLES FALLING ALL AROUND YOU IN HEAPS, WASTING THEIR SWEETNESS. TELL YOURSELF YOU TASTED AS MANY AS YOU COULD- Louise Erdich.

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