BEING A WOMAN IS NO EASY THING AFTER ALL
Yesterday after my day out searching for attachment, I couldn’t wait to get into the house; especially after episodes of turn down. I seemed bored to death and worn out from head to shoulders to knees and to the toes; this is when reality hits on you that attachment hunting is one hell of a task. So I boarded an Embasava and sat next to this lady who was all smiles after receiving a text and mouthed `dawa ya mwanaume ni mwanaume’. I always have this spirit of ` what’s the worst that could happen if I asked ‘whenever I want to ask something but then again have something pulling me back. So I got my courage up to ask what `dawa ya mwanaume ni mwanaume’ meant. Well she was receptive of my question and the explanation lasted till we reached home one hour forty five minutes later. With her permission….I share her story.
This lady, call her J was in form two when she came to Nairobi and met this tall, dark, handsome and loving man Tony. He is 6years older than J and back then he was a real hustler doing `mjengo’ works here and there. To box in this young beautiful and naïve girl, only some well-constructed pick-up lines were needed which were at his finger tips and just like that a heart was won. The love birds began dating and even decided to experiment the forbidden fruits before marriage and before then J was a virgin. She did not know the ABZ’s of sex hence it did not even hit her that using protection is crucial and J+T=PREGNANCY. J was left with no option but to drop out of school and her family viewed her as a disgrace. She was an orphan as her surviving parent had passed on that year and her brother who can catch up with Manu Chandaria’s level anytime decided to be her guardian and thus that she got pregnant while receiving help was another bone to chew with the guardian.
All in all the family accepted and went on staying with her. When time came to deliver the family bailed on her arguing that it was time for the father’s kid to take up responsibility. She delivered safely but considering Tony’s work they only bought napkins and a towel that totaled to sh.200 before leaving for his house at Mathare slums that he rented for sh.400. Due to affordability matters, Tony’s old clothes were cut into pieces to act as napkins. It was too much to handle for a form 2 drop out.
Time passed and the couple pushed on until news reached J’s millionaire brother the kind of shoddy life she was living. He forcefully went for her, bought her clothes and all her baby wanted and even employed a nana to help with the kid; you still say blood is not thicker than water? Tony though hustled harder and moved to a bigger house which he paid 1000 as rent. Little by little he began getting stable and J would chip in in the hustle. He however convinced J to move in with him again and moved by naivety and heart matters, she sneaked out of his brother’s posh place together with the kid one night…..things ladies do for love.
The brother made efforts to get her back in vain. Time to time though he would ask her to go for some good electronics that were in the store but still in good condition, he would say `J, shika hii fridge ukatumie na huyo maskini wako’. That worked a great deal because before long the couple had a fully packaged house; they even moved to Komarock and J’s brother would help paying rent and after 2years J went back to school.
After 10years of their staying together, J thought it was time they wedded. By then, Tony was financially stable to sponsor the wedding but he turned her thoughts down by saying `he was not ready to marry her and besides, she is not of her class’. To handle such news, J is nothing short of a strong lady. In fact she was chased away after receiving a thorough beating and ran to seek refuge to her brother whose welcoming words were: `ulikosa kuniskiza, ona mashida umejiletea sasa’. All the electronics they had been given were left with this man and she had played with her heart for not one but at least 10years. The saddest part is that 6days after the incidence, Tony had already married another lady and they planned for a church wedding which came to pass.
Well, 2years later, J found a real man, and Tony’s marriage is in rocks; nothing to be admired. The text she had received was Tony begging that he needed them to get back together arguing that J’S current lover will never love her as he did. Now I could related why she was saying `dawa ya mwanaume ni mwanaume’.
Things ladies go through though……it is not an easy thing being a happy lady.
ION, Happy 2015. I missed you like nonsense. I am back with pieces that are pieces.