MISSIONPOSSIBLE 4- ADVICE FROM THE GIRLS
When the elders said in `Yukuki’ language that `itheru ni mehia’ (joking is sinning), they were more than right; it’s very practical. Last time we met here, I had enjoyed sweet cookies and some cellar tusk courtesy of Dan, and my head felt SO heavy that I had to cancel our arrangement of fresher’s night. For the record, his `boda boda’ guy ensured safety to my place after which I beat (nilichapa) on the carpet until the following day. Funny how `cookies’ and wine could have massive effects. Ha ha ha… a fresher can believe that those were just cookies but me….those were weed cookies.
I got texts equivalent to the price of `devolution pens’. Guess who they were from? Hell yeah!! Your guess is right the `heart of my mission’, the man with a generous heart for cookies, a big pocket for wine, and above all, a smart mind to plan. “A man with motives cannot be trusted,’’ said my bitter heart. My hand had never cut anyone before but this time, I was cutting off someone’s contact, his contacts, Dan’s contact; I needed less of him and more of my girls at that moment. Kukuru kakara to my chill zone with my girls, I had been keeping my `complicated affair’ with Dan a secret (lol, like they don’t read my posts) until spilling the beans was the only shot there was. Usually, our chill zone is made up of 4 girls including me; you can call the others girl A, B and C. We have a culture of sharing our stories to catch up, and get motivational, emotional, and spiritual support. That day I was introducing a new kind of support, `Danional support’.
After my Dan narration, the girls did what girls do best: lolling ha ha ha lol, then moved on to give me wise girl code advice. We thought strategically and came up with one of the smartest moves: take back Dan’s number and continue playing along as usual but when he calls me to his place, I’m to agree without hesitation and ask for heavy lunch or supper; sometimes ugali fish, pilau pork, matoke beef, anything that steals your eyes in a hotel menu. 3 minutes before arrival, I’m to give him heads up that I have tagged along my three BFF’s and boom, we enter Ngeria hall 3. He will get frustrated and annoyed bla bla bla and we would pick up the plan from there.
After adjourning Danional strategic plan, girl B received a call from a guy she could hardly remember and had met at F2 (Moi’s classiest club) requesting her to pass by his place at Ngeria. Girl B, confessed that she was so drank to even remember the guy and based on how drank and stoned he was at F2, chances of remembering her looks were almost nil. Walking to Ngeria could be a good exercise after all, we said. Apparently, it was Ngeria hall 3, the same room number as Dan’s; he had never mentioned of having a roommate but there was no time to give the girls heads up. On entering the room, it was Dan, and he thought I was the one visiting; he couldn’t remember girl B. I wrote girl B a text, he he huyu ndiye Dan, ebu call him but don’t let him know. When she called, the phone rang and Dan excused himself, `kuna dame wa ocha hushinda akinisumbua’, wacha nione kile anasema, ako hapa nje…….ha ha ha, so now girl B is dame wa ocha?? (There is a girl from the village who keeps disturbing me, let me see what she is saying, she’s outside).
Catch up next week for a continuation.
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